Examples of previous customer requests.

ENGAGEMENT (£24.00)

Jacob Smith and Sophie Clark

Wish to announce their engagement

We are having a party to celebrate

There will be food and entertainment

From 7 pm on the 12th of June

At the Connaught Rooms, Dale End

You are cordially invited

We sincerely hope you attend

The bar will be open all evening

Then the DJ will start at eight

So, wear your very best dancing shoes

and whatever you do, don’t be late

Please RSVP to Sophie

on this number, or if you prefer.

you can send us a message or email

We look forward to seeing you there

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY (£24.00)

Dearest darling Rosemary

You really mean the world to me.

When we met forty years ago

I knew I’d never let you go.

So carefully, I used my charm

To place love handcuffs on your arm.

Attached their other half to mine,

and your acceptance was my sign.

I went down on my bended knees

To ask you kindly, would you please.

Add warmth and sunshine to my life

And you agreed to be my wife.

Our lives have moved at quite a pace

But those handcuffs have stayed in place.

And you still mean the world to me

I love you, my dear Rosemary.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDDAD (£36.00)

Granddad, it’s your birthday

We are baking you a cake

There’s going to be a party

tonight, at half past eight

Grandma had her hair done

and bought you a new shirt

So come in from the garden

and wash off all the dirt

You left your muddy footprints

all along the path

I’ll go and sweep them up for you

now go and have a bath

All your friends are coming.

Dad has bought some booze.

Mum is in the kitchen.

There’ll be no lunchtime snooze.

Your brothers and your sisters

my aunts and uncles, too

will all be here this evening

to celebrate with you

This is the seventieth year

of you being alive

So have a happy birthday

we love you, Granddad Clive

NEW HOME (£18.00)

We wish you endless happiness

as you move to your new flat

Dad installed a new kitchen

new bathroom and flap for the cat

You have all the things that you wanted

you’ve emptied our local Ikea

A sofa that seats nine people

and a cat bed that looks like a sphere

Your front door is painted burgundy

with a letterbox made of chrome

Everything looks fantastic

Enjoy living in your new home.

HAPPY RETIREMENT (£30.00)

Dear Peter, your retirement date

has finally arrived

You can look back on a long career

and all that you survived

You joined us as a youngster

and made regular progress

to become the company expert

with the knowledge you possess

We know we can't replace you

and we’re sad to let you go

But we’re grateful for your loyalty

and wanted you to know.

So sometime in the next few weeks

when you have a lunchtime snooze

Or you sit out in the garden

with a lovely glass of booze

Try not to think about us

still battling with employment

Relax, tend your garden

and enjoy a deserved retirement

A previously unknown Jedi

Has recently been discovered

He’s living here on Earth in Plymouth

hiding undercover

His name is Max Dogwalker

He learned to handle the force

after lessons from his friends Yoda

and Obi-Wan of course

Darth Vader, you’d better look out

your evil crimes will be done

when Jedi Dogwalker finds you

The force is strong in this one

GET WELL SOON AMY (£0)

While all the other children slept

Amy awoke last night

A nurse was looking after her

She had a special light

“Are you a ghost?” asked Amy

when she was quite near

“No, I’m the Hospital Fairy

I’ve come to see you, Dear.”

She kissed her head and handed

Amy’s slippers and dressing gown

She put them on and suddenly

they flew across the town

She saw the streets below them

the lights shone very bright

They landed at the City Zoo

In the middle of the night

They first spoke to a Polar bear

He asked Amy, “Can you skate?”

Amy said, “I’ve never tried

but I really cannot wait.”

Three penguins came to join them

as they skated on the ice

They all held hands together

It felt so very nice

Then the fairy said, “It’s time to go

and leave the frozen lake

and get back to the hospital

before everyone’s awake.”

When Amy woke next morning

the nurse brought her a drink

Amy wondered if she’d dreamed it all

until she saw her wink.

Amy felt much better.

The Doctor’s were all glad.

and told her she could soon go home

with her Mummy and her Dad.

HAPPY GRADUATION KIRSTY (£18.00)

It's Kirsty’s graduation day

How proud you make us feel

Years ago, you said all this

and finally, it’s real

You’re about to become a doctor

just as you always wanted

You studied every single day

fastidious and undaunted

We’re here to help you celebrate

you’re a genius, and we know it

I take my hat off to you

but I'm not about to throw it

REMEMBERING GRANDPARENTS (£18.00)

We lost both of them years ago

and the world continued on

They’d be shocked by new technology

Invented since they’re gone

My own life is a mixture

of the advice they gave to me

Sometimes, I have taken risks

Some things evaded me

But of all the things I had in life

What I now miss the most

Is advice from both grandparents

and Grandma’s Sunday roast

VALENTINE (£24.00)

You may wonder who has sent this

or perhaps you’ll have easily guessed

I’m sure when I finally kiss you

you’ll be certain that I don't jest

When I say that the moment I saw you

my heart flipped over with love

It felt like I’d waited to find you

and was guided by something above

So, Ella, I want you to know that

I’ve found many ways to invent

reasons why I can bump into you

and why they are quite so frequent

I’m certain you feel the connection

So, meet me tonight at The Square

If you haven’t yet guessed my identity

you’ll know me the moment you’re there.

CAKE HOUND (£30.00)

It was only a few minutes

that he was left alone

Took Christmas lunch to grandma

and before they were back home

Bruno climbed up on a chair

to have a little treat

He could reach most of the Christmas cake

and had all he could eat

But when his mum and dad came in

they called out in dismay

Bruno’s eaten Christmas cake

we must go right away

They put him in the car

and drove him to the vet

Though currants are quite poisonous

he wasn’t poorly yet

The vet gave him some medicine

to help remove the cake

Patted Bruno on the head

and gave his paw a shake

They charged a lot of money

then sent him on his way

His Dad said thank you, Bruno

you ruined Christmas Day

IN MEMORY OF MOM (£15.00)

Very strong-minded, tough on us when needed

But ferociously defensive, she always succeeded

The salt of the earth, she toiled for our good

Although we forgot to say thanks when we should

She was so often told that she looked like the queen

The pictures above perhaps show what I mean

She’s been gone many years, but she’s here in my head

I’m still guided by many of the things that she said

I'll never forget her, and still to this day

I smile when I think of the things that she’d say.

George and Margaret Rogers invite you to attend

the wedding of their daughter Phoebe Anne.

To Mr Matthew Wilkinson, and hereby extend

this invitation and sincerely hope you can.

On the 24th of August, in South Wortham Hepton,

2:30 pm, St Augustus Church.

The wedding ceremony is followed by a reception

at the famous local Hotel Silver Birch

We ask you to RSVP by 30th May

so that we can keep the venue up to date.

We hope that you can join us on this special day

The dancing will continue until late.

WEDDING INVITATION (£18.00)

ODE TO ALAN (£45.00)

He started life a Brummie cat;

that’s Birmingham to you

White fluffy fur and golden eyes,

a tough guy through and through.

Born with quite a mardy face,

unfortunate, some said.

But he knew just how to change it

when he wanted to be fed.

His name was Snowy Ahmed

because his family was South Asian.

But sadly, they forgot his needs,

at least on this occasion.

He was taken to the vet

because his fur was just so bad.

He was tangled up and knotted,

and he looked forlorn and sad.

So, Sarah gently cared for him

and clipped his matted hair.

He was left with big bald patches,

which he didn’t think was fair.

He waited for his family

to come and take him home.

Sadly, they didn’t come for him

and didn’t even phone.

So, Sarah then decided

that he looked so lost and sad.

She’d take him home where she and Nick

could be his Mum and Dad.

They changed his name to Alan,

and his fur grew thick and strong.

At last, he had a home

where he knew he could belong.

He wore a brand-new collar

and had special food and treats.

New bed and toys to play with,

a sofa with soft seats.

One day, Sarah brought Steve home,

another older cat.

At first, Alan was jealous;

he wasn’t having that.

But Steve was old and harmless;

he even had no teeth.

So, when Alan sat upon the stairs,

he sat one step beneath

Alan became quite famous

on social sites you see.

He even had a Facebook page,

a real celebrity.

So, everything was perfect,

and Alan’s fame went far.

Until the day he took a risk

and was knocked down by a car

His short life sadly ended,

but unlike the distant past.

He knew that in his new life,

he'd been truly loved at last.

SO SORRY YOU ARE LEAVING (£30.00)

Dear Mary Wilkinson, what can I say?

Except working with you has been fun every day

I will miss you so much and your leopard skin fashion

And your other trademarks support and compassion

Can’t believe you are leaving; we are all in denial

How will we continue without your big smile?

Though Colin is here to take over your role

It’s going to be difficult; you will leave a deep hole

But if we all chip in, I’m sure it won’t hurt

If we were to buy Colin a leopard skin shirt

I bet you’re impressed that we sent you a rhyme

To tell you how working with you was sublime

We are fully aware that you don’t like a fuss

But remember, you’re thought of so fondly by us

I hope you have memories of the fabulous days

When you worked with your colleagues here always.

DANIEL’S BAR MITZVAH (£21.00)

Today is your bar mitzvah, Daniel Benowitz,

Here’s an extra special mazel tov for you

Grandma has been cooking

So, you can have your favourites.

After you’ve read the Torah in Hebrew

We’ll all be in the Synagogue

to witness your ascension

When you transform from a boy into a man

Your Tallit with tzitzit indicating your intention

To follow God's commandments just began

Read with intention, make sure your voice is loud

One other thing that I almost forgot

if you hadn’t realised, we all feel very proud

Oh, and Grandma made your favourite Mandelbrot.

ANNIVERSARY RHYME (£30.00)

Dear ****, I still love you

even after all this time

My life with you, as always

is nothing but sublime

You still know how to charm me

and when you kiss my neck

I still get that tingly feeling

you know, like “flippin eck!”

On this, our anniversary

for me, there is no other

You are the perfect wife

have been the perfect mother

I look forward to the next stage

in our lifetime of adventures

Though we might need a walking stick

spectacles or dentures

I really love you, *******

and all joking aside

The best decision in my life

was making you my bride

ACHIEVEMENT DRIVING TEST (£30.00)

Connor passed his driving test

On the second try

No more lessons needed

Bid those L plates goodbye

As parents, we are proud of you

We know that you’ll go far

providing when you do come back

There are no dents in our car

We’ll get you your own car soon

Then, for you, there’ll be no stopping

As long as you’re available

To take your mother shopping

Ensure you keep your distance

Safe driving we require

check your oil and water

watch the pressure in each tyre

If you run out of petrol

That’s reckless and quite bad

So, walk to the nearest gas station

don’t bother calling Dad

REMEMBERING GRANDAD RAY (£24.00)

Several of us grandchildren,

would listen to Grandpa

As he talked about his happy life

weird adventures near and far

We loved to hear the stories

that were told by Grandpa Ray

Like how he invented custard

and how he robbed a bank one day

He said, “Remember when you’re older

three things will happen to you

First, you lose your memory

I forget the other two.”

Sadly, He’s departed, and

His story time has ceased

and we never quite found out how

he caught the Klondike beast

HOSPITAL SANTA CLAUSE (£0.00)

When children are in hospital

on the night, Santa will call

He has to try his very best

to make no noise at all

The Elves make special socks

to put on the reindeer hooves

To be sure there’s no trotting noise

when any of them moves

Santa takes his wellies off

and leaves them on the sleigh

And tiptoes in his stocking feet

It’s quieter that way

He leaves the toys and presents

Making sure no child is missed

and then before he leaves,

ensures the nurses are all kissed

Then, the doctors and the nurses

All come to wave goodbye

As Santa and the reindeer

Gallop up into the sky

BEST WOMAN SPEECH (£45.00)

Welcome to the wedding of Mike and James

They were destined to be united

And as a very good friend of them both

I could not be more delighted

When they first discussed their intentions

They called and asked, “Please, Leanne

would you kindly do us the honour

of being our best woman?”

They bought this beautiful dress for me

It’s made from pure silk, can you tell?

backless and a little bit daring.

and Darlings, it’s vintage Chanel

They told me the theme for the wedding

was going to be something blue

I was glad they meant the colour, though

and not something naughty – aren’t you?

So, Mike’s sky-blue hand-tailored suit

says so much about his style

Whereas James prefers being less flashy

Out of the limelight for a while

But anyone here who knows them

Is aware they’re both skilled in design

Renovating their Regency Townhouse

The results were simply divine

So, we’re here at this gorgeous venue

and before my little rhyme ends

I would just like to say sincere thanks to you

For being such wonderful friends

So, congratulations, Mike and James

Two wonderful guys made an oath

To love and care for each other.

Let us all drink a toast to them both.

ODE TO STEVE (£30.00)

Steve was such a quiet boy

who hardly made a sound

But the house will be much quieter

now he's no longer around

It was quiet except for mealtimes,

then no one would believe

the funny little noises

made by a hungry Steve

Then naptime followed swiftly

as soon as he'd been fed

You'd find him upstairs lazing

on Nick and Sarah's bed

Was there ever a cat so lazy?

Whatever you believe

I guess the odds-on favourite

would probably be Steve

There's still one thing for certain:

no matter your belief

He was old, but he was handsome,

although he had no teef

I'm sure he's up in heaven now.

I bet he's just been fed

and if you want to find him,

he's sleeping on God's bed.

ODE TO RUPERT (£45.00)

Rupert was a Dachshund

his fur was brown like tea.

His favourite of all pastimes

was to do a little wee

His little face was charming

his little tail would wiggle

But all the time, quite silently,

he was doing a little piddle

His mummy loved him nonetheless

and sat him on her knee

But no sooner was he on the floor

he’d do a bit more pee

Although sometimes he barked at me

his little eyes would twinkle

Not because he liked me,

he was having another sprinkle

When someone scolded Rupert,

cos they’d have to mop the floor

He’d wait until they left the room

and do a few drops more

His girlfriend’s name was Penny

and she sometimes took the blame

He paid her no attention,

but she loved him just the same

Sometimes, when someone skidded

on a newly laid-down pool

He’d innocently stare at them

and hold his Dachshund cool

Now, sadly, he’s no longer here

and our floor is wet no more

But you can bet your last five shillings,

he’ll be weeing on God’s floor.

OUR DOG (£18.00)

GENDER REVEAL (£18.00)

Today, we’re going to reveal

the gender of our new child

Will you please help choose a name

from the list that we have compiled

We’re going to open a big box

and let the balloons float to the sky

Their colour will either be blue or pink

for the gender they identify

We’re having some drinks to celebrate

we would love you to be there and maybe

you’ll stay for the party afterwards

As we celebrate our new baby.

NEW BABY ANNOUNCEMENT (£18.00)

John and Christine Miller

Are delighted to announce

the birth of their new son, William

Weighing eight pounds and one ounce

He has his father’s brown hair

and a cute little face like his mother

He was warmly received by Ben

his excited older little brother

Everyone’s welcome to visit

so please call in for a peep

His brother will no doubt wake him

even if William’s asleep

CHRISTENING INVITATION (£18.00)

Emilia Olivia Rivers

Is about to be christened, and we

would love you to be there to witness

this wonderful ceremony

We are meeting at St Augustine’s Church

on Sunday 4th of May

We need to arrive at 11:00

for the service to get underway

When the ceremony has concluded

you’re invited to join us to dine

On a Sunday lunch at the Nags Head

and perhaps a glass of wine

CHRISTMAS MESSAGE TO NANNA (£30)

Our gorgeous, lovely Nana’s name is Hilary

We wanted her to have this little treat

We find it hard to fathom that she’s seventy

And still looks just like Gail from Corrie Street

We would have hit the town and had a shopping spree

But the town is closed, and all the shops are bare

We tried a gun salute from the artillery

But they didn’t have the bullets they could spare

We’d have joined her for a long walk in The Westcountry

To meet her best friends Sarah and Maria

They hike around the countryside so Jauntily

And stop off at a pub to have a beer

We would arrange a skiing trip to Italy

But everything is booked in every state

No room on the slopes, no room for après ski

So, holidays abroad will have to wait

This year, we can’t be sitting by her Christmas tree

Or waiting at the table to be fed

But we want to show our love for Nanny Hilary

So, we send this little rhyme to her instead